the moment we found out we are having twins….caught on video!
By now, you all know we are expecting twins! I’m 17 weeks along (still don’t know the genders!) and we are finally wrapping our brains around the idea of having TWO babies….at the same time….two newborns, two toddlers, two adolescents, two teens. You get the gist. In combination with the other three boys we have. The idea of having FIVE kids has us feeling slightly overwhelmed. Five was never our plan. We barely came around to the idea of having four. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that we needed to have one.more.baby.
WRONG. Not one, Kristy. Two! I guess we are supposed to have two more babies.
I hesitated to share this video because I didn’t want my reaction to come off as ungrateful for this pregnancy….because that’s not it at all. I know what a blessing and miracle it is to be able to get pregnant, with two babies none-the-less and don’t take that for granted at all. So many other reactions I’ve watched were pure excitement and mine was just…well…you’ll see…But I hope you know it was never from feelings of ingratitude💙
For some reason, Brett came with me to my first OB appointment. I was only nine weeks and I was so nervous—now I know why. Before my doctor even started the ultrasound he suggested Brett take video or take some pictures. So Brett turned on his video and started recording. I’m so glad he did….
Yes…Brett really didn’t say anything. He says I stole all of the emotion, ha! I’ve watched this over a 100 times (especially the few days after finding out) and I still tear up when I watch it. Because I feel that emotion all over again and it really was just so raw….it was genuine shock, overwhelm, and fear…..
Like, “how the crap did this happen?”
And the fear of the pregnancy with twins…
The fear of the health of the babies….
And the overwhelming fear of how we’ll all survive once they are here! I mean….I know we will survive but you know what I mean right?? Like, CAN I REALLY DO THIS? But I know God has a plan for our little, ahem soon to be big, family and this is it! So I’m trusting he will help me do it, help us all do it.
I’m 17 1/2 weeks now, I’ve seen these babies a handful of times and just started feeling little baby flutters last week!!! All of those feelings of fear are still there but are also turning into excitement and anticipation! Love them both so much already and can’t wait to just hold them in my arms……even if they are two more little boys in there 😜 Feeling incredibly blessed and grateful to have two healthy babies growing in there!